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soc.culture.jewish FAQ: Observance, Marriage, Women in Judaism (4/12) |
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Frequently Asked Questions on Soc.Culture.Jewish
Part 4: Observance, Marriage, Women in Judaism
[Last Post: Mon Mar 1 11:07:27 US/Pacific 2004]
The FAQ is a collection of documents that is an attempt to answer
questions that are continually asked on the soc.culture.jewish family
of newsgroups. It was written by cooperating laypeople from the
various Judaic movements. You should not make any assumption as to
accuracy and/or authoritativeness of the answers provided herein. In
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local rabbi is a good place to start.
[2][Got Questions?] Hopefully, the FAQ will provide the answer to your
questions. If it doesn't, please drop Email to
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to see long and good days (assume SHLITA). May Hashem grant complete
recovery to the ill. Individual honorifics are omitted.
The FAQ was produced by a committee and is a cooperative work. The
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word might appear with a variety of spellings. This is complicated by
the fact that there are regional variations in the pronunciation of
Hebrew. In some places, the common spelling variations are mentioned;
in others--not. We hope that this is not too confusing.
In general, throughout this FAQ, North American (US/Canada) terms are
used to refer to the movements of Judaism. Outside of North American,
Reform is Progressive or Liberal Judaism; Conservative is Masorti or
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are differences in practice, position, and ritual between US/Canada
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Progressive/ Liberal), and between US/Canada Conservative and the
conservative/Masorti movement elsewhere. Where appropriate, these
differences will be highlighted.
The goal of the FAQ is to present a balanced view of Judaism; where a
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reflect the traditional viewpoint.
This list should be used in conjunction with the Soc.Culture.Jewish
[5]reading lists. Similar questions can be found in the books
referenced in those lists.
There are also numerous other Jewish FAQs available on the Internet
that are not part of the SCJ FAQ/RL suite. An index to these may be
found at [6]www.scjfaq.org/otherfaqs.html
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------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: ORGANIZATION
This portion of the FAQ contains answers to the following questions:
Section 5:
Jewish Holidays
1. [5]What are the different holidays?
2. [6]What are the dates of the upcoming Jewish holidays?
3. [7]How can I get a Jewish calendar
4. [8]Why do some people take off one day, and others two?
5. [9]Why does the Jewish day start at sundown?
6. [10]What are the origins of the Chanukah Dreidel?
7. [11]Is it appropriate for Christians to "celebrate" Pesach using
the form of a seder meal?
8. [12]What are the months of the Jewish Year?
9. [13]How does Judaism measure the day?
10. [14]Are the Four Questions asked on Pesach in the Torah?
11. [15]What are the different days of the Jewish week?
12. [16]How are Yahrzeits observed in Leap Years?
13. [17]What happened to the observance on 14 Nisan as Passover?
14. [18]For Mother's Day, how should one bless their mothers?
Section 6:
Jewish Dietary Law and Kashrut
1. [5]What is Kosher? Doesn't a rabbi just bless the food?
2. [6]How can I learn about Kashrut? Is there a "Kosher" FAQ?
3. [7]There are a wide variety of kosher symbols. How do I learn
who's behind them?
4. [8]I'm going to be in (insert city here). How do I find the kosher
restaurants?
5. [9]Do I need to have a kosher kitchen and kosher home to keep
kosher?
6. [10]I have heard that Polish Orthodox Jews wait 6 hours between
eating milchig and fleishig and Dutch Orthodox Jews wait about an
hour. Why?
7. [11]Why do Sephardim and Ashkenazim have different customs
regarding permissible foods on Pesach (Passover)?
8. [12]I'm a vegetarian health-food proponent. Is kosher food
healthier?
9. [13]Is vegetarianism kosher?
10. [14]What process is involved in Kosher Slaughter?
11. [15]I work in a prison, and I have an inmate that is demanding
Kosher Food? How do I know if his claim is justified?
12. [16]What are the issues involving Filet Minion?
13. [17]Why don't Jews eat Pork?
14. [18]Would the laws of Kashrut prevent Mad Cow Disease?
15. [19]Is Monkfish Kosher?
16. [20]Why do Jews separate Milk and Meat?
17. [21]Must Jews use wine?
18. [22]Are there parts of a kosher animal that cannot be eaten?
19. [23]I have a friend coming over that keeps Kosher. What do I do?
Section 7:
Shabbat Observance
1. [5]What is the Jewish Sabbath and why is it on Saturday?
2. [6]Why do my Orthodox Jewish friends leave work early on Fridays
and before Jewish holidays?
3. [7]Why can't Jews use electrical appliances and motor vehicles on
Shabbat?
4. [8]Why are there 18 minutes from the time candle lighting starts
on Shabbat until the last time you can light?
5. [9]I've heard that Jews can't tear on Shabbat? Why? What is
"work"?
6. [10]How do people know when to light candles in the Arctic?
7. [11]What is the significance of Challah?
8. [12]Why do women wave their hands three times before lighting
Shabbat [or Holiday] candles?
9. [13]What is an Eruv?
10. [14]If your home is burning, can you put out the fire on Shabbat?
11. [15]What Medical Procedures May Be Performed on Shabbat?
12. [16]What happens on Shabbat?
13. [17]Do Conservative Jews play musical instruments on Shabbat?
14. [18]Why is there a prohibition on travel on Shabbat?
15. [19]Can an observant Jew use a camera on Shabbat?
Section 8:
Woman and Marriage
1. [5]What role do women play in Judaism?
2. [6]What is the Conservative view of the role of women in Judaism?
3. [7]What is the Reform view of the role of women in Judaism?
4. [8]What is the Orthodox view of the role of women in Judaism?
5. [9]Is it true that Orthodox men bless G-d every morning for not
making them a woman? What do you mean, this isn't terrible?
6. [10]I've heard polygamy is permissible among Sephardic and
Yemenite Jews. Doesn't Judaism mandate monogamy?
7. [11]What does clean/unclean refer to?
8. [12]What is "Niddah"?
9. [13]I've heard that Orthodox men can't touch women. Is this true?
10. [14]Are there any rituals for purification after childbirth for
women?
11. [15]What is the Jewish position on contraception and abortion?
12. [16]How does Judaism view Marriage?
13. [17]How do Jews find Mates?
14. [18]What is a Jewish Marriage?
15. [19]What happens before a Jewish Wedding?
16. [20]What happens during a Jewish Wedding?
17. [21]What happens after a Jewish Wedding?
18. [22]What should I wear to a Jewish wedding?
19. [23]Why is the glass broken at Jewish weddings?
20. [24]What is a Ketubah?
21. [25]What are the "Seven Blessings"?
22. [26]What does Judaism say about premarital sex?
23. [27]What are some good wedding greetings?
24. [28]Can a wife refuse to have marital relations with her husband?
25. [29]What should a man do if his wife leaves him for another man?
26. [30]Can a Jewish woman who has not been to a mikvah get married in
an Orthodox wedding?
27. [31]Is it possible for a Cohanim to marry a divorced Jewish woman?
28. [32]I've heard Jews can't get married on certain days. What are
they?
29. [33]What is the role of the parents or the rabbi at a wedding?
30. [34]How long after a spouse dies can the surviving partner
remarry? Must they marry their spouse's younger brother?
31. [35]What relationships are prohibited?
32. [36]What is the restriction on woman to sing in public and infront
of men?
33. [37]What can be done if the wife refuses to sign the get (divorce
decree)?
------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Question 5.1: What are the different holidays?
Answer:
The holidays are described in the list below. R' Donin's book To Be a
Jew gives a good overview of the holidays from a traditional
perspective. The following is based on a summary posted on the net by
Robert Kaiser, which in turn was based on material from A Guide to
Jewish Religious Practice by Rabbi Isaac Klein, published by The
Jewish Theological Seminary of America. Note that liberal Jews do not
observe all of these holidays, nor do they all follow the practice of
two-days of observance of certain holidays in the diaspora. The
principal year-cycle events observed by liberal Jews are: Shabbat,
Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, Chanukkah, Tu
B'Shevat, Purim, Pesach (Passover), Lag B'Omer, Shavuot, and Tish'a
B'Av.
Note also that as the Jewish day runs from sundown to sundown,
holidays start the evening of the secular day before secular calendar
date of the holiday.
Rosh Hashanah (Tishri 1)
Also known as Yom Hadin, Yom Hazikaron (Day of Remembrance) and
Yom Teruah (Day of the sounding of the shofar). In traditional
congregations, the shofar is not sounded when Rosh Hashanah
falls on the Sabbath. This holiday celebrates the creation of
the world, and as such is the new year for calculating calendar
years, sabbatical and jubilee years, vegetable tithes, and
tree-planting (determining the age of a tree). This holiday is
characterized by the blowing of the shofar. During the
afternoon of the first day, many follow the practice of
tashlikh, symbolically casting away sins by throwing stones
into the waters. Rosh ha-Shanah, the 1st of Tishri, never falls
on a Sunday, Wednesday or Friday, in order that Yom Kippur
should never fall on a Friday or Sunday and Hoshana Rabbath
should not fall on the Sabbath.
The one practice unique to Rosh Hashanah is the sounding of the
shofar, in accord with the biblical command "... it is a day
when the horn is sounded" (Num. 29:1). Since it falls on the
first day of the month, when new months were proclaimed by the
Sanhedrin on the basis of the testimony of witnesses, there
existed an uncertainty as to when exactly Rosh Hashanah would
be. Even when the Temple stood, it was sometimes necessary to
celebrate two days of Rosh Hashanah due to the late arrival of
witnesses. As a result it was decided to celebrate two days
every year. Unlike other holidays, this is unrelated to the
diaspora.
Rosh Hashanah is also known as yom ha'din, "the day of
judgement", when according to the Talmud, God determines who
will be inscribed in the "book of life" and who will be
inscribed in the "book of death" for the coming year. The
decision is made on Rosh Hashanah and sealed ten days later at
the conclusion of Yom Kippur. One's behavior in the interim can
supposedly alter a harsh decree, thus the period from the
beginning of Rosh Hashanah to the conclusion of Yom Kippur is
known as the Ten Days of Repentance. During the Middle Ages, it
also became common to refer to Rosh ha-Shanah and Yom Kippur as
the Days of Awe.
After the service in the synagogue, it is customary for
worshippers to wish one another le-Shanah tovah tehatem
ve-tikatev (May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year).
It is traditional to eat bread and apples dipped in honey
followed by the meditation, "May it be Your will to grant us a
good and sweet year."
In Ashkenazi communities, a special custom known as Tashlikh
occurs; it invokes the recitation of biblical verses and a
prayer near a body of water. It is performed on the first day
of Rosh Hashanah (unless the first day falls on the Sabbath, in
which case it is deferred to the second day). The custom
symbolizes purification of sin in the water.
Fast of Gedaliah (Tishri 3)
This fast commemorates the slaying of Gedaliah Ben Akhikam,
whom Nebuchadnezzar appointed governor of Judah after the first
destruction of the Temple (Jeremiah 40:7, II Kings 25:22.). He
was assasinated on the third of Tishri (582 BC) by Ishmael son
of Nethaniah of the royal family. Nebuchadnezzar, king of
Babylon, had appointed Gedaliah governor of the Jews who
remained in Eretz Israel after the destruction of the First
Temple. After he was murdered, large numbers of the people fled
to Egypt (Jer. 40 and 41), and the last vestige of Jewish
autonomy in Judah came to an end. His death was the final blow
to hopes that the Jewish state might survive the Babylonian
domination. It is mentioned in the Torah (Zec. 8:19) as the
"fast of the seventh month". The sages established the fast in
"order to demonstrate that the death of the righteous is
equivalent to the destruction of the Temple, which is also
commemorated by the fast" (Rosh ha-Shanah 18b).
Yom Kippur (Tishri 10)
The day of repentance. The holiest and most solemn day of the
year. Its central theme is atonement and reconciliation. It is
described in the Torah as "It shall be a Sabbath of complete
rest for you" (Lev. 23:32). Traditionally, there are
prohibitions on eating, drinking, bathing, anointing the body,
wearing leather shoes, and conjugal relations. Most of these
prohibitions are followed across the spectrum of Judaism--such
is the importance of this holy day. The fast on Yom Kippur is
the only fast which can take place on the Sabbath.
Yom Kippur services begin with Kol Nidrei, which must be
recited before sunset. A Talit is donned for evening
prayers--the only evening service of the year in which this is
done. The Ne'ilah service is a special service held only on the
day of Yom Kippur, and deals with the closing of the holiday.
Yom Kippur comes to an end with the blowing of the shofar,
which marks the conclusion of the fast.
The Day of Atonement concludes the Ten Days of Repentance that
began on Rosh Hashanah; it is regarded as the day on which ones
fate is sealed for the coming year. At one timem the Temple
ritual performed by the high priest on the Day of Atonement was
the most important event of the whole year. It was the only
time he entered the Holy of Holies in order to atone for the
sins of the children of Israel. The precise order of his
activities is outlined in the Torah in the Book of Leviticus
(Ch. 16) and is described in the talmndic tractate (Yoma).
After the destruction of the Temple the notion of penitence
became the main feature of the Day of Atonement when the Jew
confesses his sins. A main feature of the services of the day
is the confession, of which two versions are read. The long
confession of 44 double, alphabetically arranged lines begins:
"For the sin wherein we have sinned ..." while the shorter form
is made up of single words or phrases, again in alphabetical
order, beginning with Ashamnu (We have trespassed).
Sukkot (Tishri 15)
The third Pilgrimage festival, it is also known as The Feast of
Booths (Tabernacles), The Feast of Ingathering, or just simply
The Hag (The Festival). Sukkot is an eight day festival: the
first two days are celebrated as full holidays, the following
five days (Hol Hamo'ed) are weekdays that retain some aspects
of the festival, the seventh day (Hoshanah Rabbah) and eighth
(Shemini Atzeret) days have special observances of their own.
Liberal congregations typically only celebrate the first and
eighth days.
Sukkot is also called "zman simchaseinu" (the time of our
rejoicing). This is because the Torah tells us that at that
time when we harvest it is a time for rejoicing. We also
rejoice in the coming start of a new cycle of Torah, as Simchat
Torah ends the Sukkot holiday. Succot is also known as Hag
ha-Asif, "The Festival of the Ingathering", due to the fact
that it falls during the season when the final summer produce
is gathered from the field. Another name is simply Ha-Hag, "The
Holiday" par excellence (Ex. 23:16, II Chron. 7:8).
The first day of Succot is a full holiday on which work is
prohibited. The next six days have their own special
regulations, but work is permitted under most circumstances.
Outside Eretz Israel, the second day of Succot is also observed
as a full holiday and the following five days are hol ha-mo'ed.
Succot has a number of unique observances. During the entire
seven days (prior to Sheini Atzeret), one is required to dwell
"in the succah", a temporary structure whose roof must be made
of materials that grow from the ground, e.g. palm fronds, tree
branches, bamboo poles. Dwelling in the succah commemorates the
temporary structures in which the Israelites dwelt during their
40 years wandering after the Exodus from Egypt (Lev. 23:42-43).
On each of the seven days of Succot, except the Sabbath, the
Four Species - the palm branch (lulav), citron (etrog), myrtle,
and willow - are taken up (after the appropriate benediction)
and waved. The species are held also during the recitation of
Hallel, and during the recitation of Hoshanot, when the entire
congregation joins in a procession encircling the bimah. One
such procession is held as part of the Shaharit service on each
of the seven days. The seventh day of Succot, i.e. the last day
of hol ha-mo'ed, is known also by the name Hoshana Rabbah, "The
Great Hoshana." On Hoshana Rabbah seven such processions are
held during and after which appropriate prayers are recited.
After these willow branches are beaten on the ground.
Sukkot commemorates the life of the Israelites in the desert
during their journey to the promised land. During their
wandering in the desert they lived in booths (Sukkot). Four
species of plants are used to celebrate the holiday: the lulav
(palm branch), etrog (lemon-like citron), myrtle, and willow.
The etrog is handled separately, while the other three species
are bound together, and are collectively referred to as the
lulav.
There is a special commandment in the Torah to rejoice on
Succot, "You shall hold the Feast of Booths for seven days. You
shall rejoice in your festival .. and you shall have nothing
but joy" (Deut. 16:13-15). In the Temple period, an observance
unique to Succot was the Simhat Bet ha-Sho'evah that
accompanied the special water libations of Succot, and the
celebrations at that time were especially joyous. Once in every
seven years, during Succot at the termination of the Sabbatical
Year (Shemitah), there was a public reading of certain passages
of the Book of Deuteronomy. This reading, known as hakhel, is
commanded in Deuteronomy 31:10-13.
During the five intermediate days of Sukkot, it is customary to
read the book of Ecclesiastes.
Hosha'nah Rabbah (The seventh day of Sukkot).
This day closes the period of repentance that began on Rosh
Hashanah. Tradition has made this day into a sequel to the Days
of Awe, lengthening the period of penitence and postponing the
day when final sentence is to be rendered.
On this day the worshippers go round the bimah of the synagogue
seven times while holding the four species. During the
circuits, piyyutim are recited with the refrain Hoshana (Save
us, we beseech thee). The name Hoshana Rabbah (the great
hoshana) derives from the sevenfold circuit. The source of this
custom is in Temple worship. During the festival of Succot,
according to tradition, the world is judged for water, and it
was the custom to take branches of the willow and go around the
alter saying "O Lord, deliver us! O Lord, let us prosper!" (PS.
118:25). Each day the alter would be circled once, and on the
seventh day seven times, The custom was then to beat the ground
with the willow branch after saying the hoshanot prayers.
In the Talmud, Hoshana Rabbah is referred to as a day when
everyone comes to the synagogue. Its special character was
emphasized during the time of the geonim, who saw it as the day
in which each human being receives from heaven a note on which
his fate is registered. And so there are those who greet each
other on this day with the Aramaic blessing a pitka tava, or in
Yiddish gut kveitl. Many and varied liturgical customs have
developed for Hoshana Rabbah. The most widespread are the
inclusion of the additional Sabbath and festival psalms in the
Shaharit (morning) service and the introduction of High
Holidays melody and usage for the ritual of taking out the
Torah from the ark. Another custom is to remain awake studying
Torah throughout the night. This custom was already known in
the thirteenth century, and its source is in the need to give
additional time to those who had not yet finished reading the
Torah and needed to finish by Simhat Torah.
Shemini Atzeret (Tishri 22)
The eighth day of Sukkot. In the Talmud it is written that "the
eighth day [of Sukkot] is a separate festival", so Sukkot is
really observed as seven days, and Shemini Atzeret is observed
as a separate holiday. It marks the beginning of the rainy
season in Israel.
The holiday is referred to in the Bible as atzeret, which means
assembly or closing. It is a closing in that it follows the
seven days of Succot and closes that holiday and the Tishri
holiday season. Thus the name Shemini Atzeret means the closing
or assembling of the eighth day, although obligations of Succot
are not observed.
By rabbinic tradition, Shemini Atzeret celebrates the
conclusion of the annual cycle of the reading of the Torah.
This celebration is known as Simhat Torah. In the Diaspora
(exile) Shemini Atzeret is a two-day festival, with the Torah
reading concluded on the second day, and it is common to refer
to the second day as Simhat Torah and only to the first day as
Shemini Atzeret. In Israel, where the festival lasts but one
day, the two names are used interchangeably.
In the Diaspora, a few observances of Succot "spill over" into
Shemini Atzeret, and according to some customs, the meals on
that day are taken in the succah, although the benediction
recited when eating in the succah is omitted. On the other
hand, the benediction She-heheyann, marking the advent of a new
holiday, is recited. In the Diaspora, the ceremony of bidding
farewell to the succah is performed on the first day of Shemini
Atzeret, whereas in Israel it is performed on the seventh and
final day of Succot.
The prayer for rain (Tefillat Geshem) is recited on Shemini
Atzeret and from the time of its recitation, the phrase mashiv
ha-ruah u-morid ha-geshem (He causes the wind to blow and the
rain to fall) is inserted in the second benediction of the
Amidah. This continues until Passover when the phrase is
replaced with morid ha-tal (He brings dew). Among Ashkenazi
Jews, the memorial prayer, Yizkor, is recited on Shemini
Atzeret.
Simhat Torah (Tishri 23)
The celebration that marks the conclusion of the annual cycle
of readings of the Torah (Keri'ar ha-Torah) in the synagogue.
Simhat Torah ia a rabbinic institution timed to coincide with
the biblical festival Shemini Atzeret, the eighth day of
Succot, and which in Eretz Israel lasts but one day.
Consequently, in Eretz Israel, Simhat Torah and Shemini Atzeret
are in practice one and the same holiday. In the Diaspora
(exile), where Shemini Atzeret lasts for two days, each day is
popularly known by a different name: the first day as Shemini
Atzeret, and the second day, when the reading of the final
portion of Deuteronomy is concluded, as Simhat Torah.
The last portion of the Torah is read on this day. The
following Shabbat the reading of the Torah starts again at the
beginning of Bereshis (Genesis). Festivities begin in the
evening with Ma'ariv. There are seven hakafot (processions) of
the Torah around the Synagogue. Services are joyous, and
humorous deviations from the standard service are allowed, and
even expected.
In antiquity there were actually two different traditions with
regard to the weekly Torah readings. In Eretz Israel, the cycle
lasted three years. In the Babylonian tradition, the cycle
began on the first Sabbath after the holidays of the month of
Tishri. This became the Sabbath of Genesis (Shabbath Bereshit).
The cycle was completed a year later on the last of the Tishri
holidays, i.e. Shemini Atzeret. In time, all Jewish communities
adopted the Babylonian system.
The central features of the Simhat Torah celebrations are the
hakkafot - the perambulations around the synagogue, with the
participants carrying the scrolls of the Torah, to the
accompaniment of joyous singing and dancing. The hakkafot are
held both in the Arvit and in the Shaharit services. After the
morning hakkafot, three scrolls are taken from the holy ark for
the Torah reading service. From the first scroll, the final
portion of Deuteronomy is read to conclude the entire Torah;
from the second scroll, the first chapter of Genesis with a few
additional verses in order to indicate there is no pause in the
cycle of the Torah readings; while from the third scroll, the
appropriate maftir is read relating to the ancient sacrificial
service for Shemini Atzeret. According to custom, everyone is
called for an aliyah la-Torah, and different practices have
developed in this connection. In some congregations, the Torah
reading is repeated several times in order to accommodate all
the worshippers with an aliyah in other groups of worshippers
ascend together for the reading; while in most non-Orthodox
synagogues women worshippers also approach the bimah for the
aliyot. Because of the emphasis on the Torah as the heritage of
every Jew, even young children who have not yet reached Bar
Mitzvah age are honored with special aliyah. They come up to
the bimah accommpanied by an adult who leads them in the
traditional blessing, as a large tallit is held over them. The
person honored with the last aliyah la-Torah is named Hatan
Torah, the Bridegroom of the Law, while the one called for the
first aliyah of the Genesis portion is named Hatan Bereshit,
the Bridegroom of Genesis. In modern Israel, the custom had
developed to organize a second hakkafot celebration on the
night after the conclusion of the festival. These second
hakkafot have become public celebrations and are frequently
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